Personal Goals And Dreams Key To A Mother's Pursuit Of Happiness

by MARLA MAJEWSKI

10/31/2008

There is a misconception that if you completely devote all of your time and energy into your children, you will be a better mother and have better children. If you spend every waking moment planning, preparing, thinking, breathing about the welfare of your children, your sacrifice will reward you with happy, well rounded, self-sufficient children.

At what point, however, does this sacrifice go too far? If our focus truly is on our children, is there room in a woman's life for other priorities - like pursuing personal goals and dreams - outside of our children?

Results from one Inspire Empire's Think Tank study cited 47% of respondents named personal achievement as what inspires them the most. Sadly, only 6.7 % of women feel they are pursuing those goals and dreams.

Although society makes us feel guilty when we desire time for ourselves or to focus on something unrelated to our children or family, if parents pursue something they love outside of their family, spouse and children - even for a couple of hours a week - they are more likely to be inspired, motivated and happier.

When a mother regularly changes her focus to something other than her children, she reconnects with the girl she used to know - the girl before marriage, children and life took over. She is the girl with the clarity on what personal life goals and dreams are important and the focus to make them happen. This reconnection allows her to refuel, reenergize and refocus not only on her goals, but also on her children - both equally important in keeping a mother happy. A mother needs to feel like she is doing both well.

As an added bonus, mothers moving closer to their personal priorities have children that whine and act out less - primarily because most of these behaviors are reflections of a mother's own feelings showing up in her kids. If the mother is happier, her children will be more content as well.

A mother with personal goals and dreams show her children three things 1) that they are not the center of the universe - which is an extremely healthy lesson to learn 2) that their mother is a person outside of their needs and activities and 3) that their mother is a positive role model of how a woman can successfully raise a family and have personal achievement in her life.

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